Two first-time mothers, Heather (49, Perth) and Zoe (47, Sydney), discussed with the ABC podcast Ladies, We Need to Talk their experiences of having children later in life.
A Growing Trend
Before 1991, 5% of first-time mothers in Australia were over 35. By 2020, that figure increased to 17%.
The Hard-Won Journeys to Motherhood
Heather gave birth to her son at age 47. She had been diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome at 19 and was told pregnancy would be difficult. After a miscarriage at 45, she became pregnant again a year later. The pregnancy was high-risk due to her age and diabetes. Her husband Ryan was diagnosed with a rare, terminal cancer during the pregnancy.
Zoe gave birth to her daughter at age 44 after 13 IVF cycles and a prior miscarriage of twins. Her daughter was born seven weeks early, weighing 1.2 kg, and spent six weeks in neonatal intensive care.
Defying Stereotypes and Judgment
"A stranger once asked whether I was my son's mother or grandmother." — Heather
Heather values spending time with her son and says maturity allows her to have a more relaxed approach to motherhood.
"I would choose to have a child again even knowing I might raise him alone." — Heather, on facing her husband's terminal illness.
Zoe sometimes reads negative comments online about older mothers, but she believes the effort to conceive justifies the age. She notes that she had already traveled and built a career before having a child, which she sees as an advantage.