The Origin and Celebration of Friendsgiving

Friendsgiving refers to a gathering centered around the traditional Thanksgiving period, often featuring similar dishes served potluck-style among friends rather than family members. This observance is frequently associated with reduced travel and the option to include or exclude turkey as a main course.

Historical Context and Linguistic Adoption

While individuals have historically celebrated Thanksgiving with friends for centuries, the specific term "Friendsgiving" gained recognition more recently. Cultural references predating the term include A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (1973) and Thanksgiving-themed episodes in the television series Friends (premiering 1994).

Merriam-Webster initiated tracking the term "Friendsgiving" in 2007, following its appearance on platforms such as Twitter and Usenet. Emily Brewster, a senior editor at Merriam-Webster, noted that the word's clear meaning and accessible pronunciation contributed to its rapid adoption.

The term subsequently appeared in lifestyle blogs and news articles. In 2011, "Friendsgiving" was featured in an advertising campaign by Bailey's Irish Cream and as a plot element in an episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey titled "Gobblefellas." Google searches for the term increased significantly in November 2011 and continued to rise annually throughout that decade. Brewster commented that an increased cultural presence facilitates a word's rapid integration into language.

Merriam-Webster formally added "Friendsgiving" to its dictionary in 2020, 13 years after its first documented use. Brewster affirmed that the word met the institution's criteria, indicating its sustained presence in language.

This informal holiday has influenced chain restaurant promotions and numerous hosting guides. In 2023, a sitting president was reported to have participated in a Friendsgiving event. While no official statistics quantify Friendsgiving participation, online surveys suggest figures potentially reaching 20% of Americans. Brewster speculated on a potential correlation between the formal naming of 'Friendsgiving' and an increase in such gatherings, noting that words can influence actions.

Friendsgiving Practices and Etiquette

The Emily Post Institute, an organization focused on etiquette, began receiving inquiries about Friendsgiving conduct around the time the word entered common use. Questions often concerned the acceptability of hosting a Friendsgiving in addition to attending a family Thanksgiving. Lizzie Post, co-president of the institute, confirmed that celebrating both events is common.

Emily Stephenson, a cookbook author and host of Friendsgiving gatherings for approximately two decades, notes that the event is often associated with younger individuals and can represent a first-time hosting experience. She suggests that the event's informal nature, combined with its proximity to traditional Thanksgiving, can reduce hosting pressure.

Guidance for Hosts

• Inquire about guests' allergies or dietary restrictions in advance.
• Maintain a record of who is contributing which dishes, whether through assignment or a shared document. If a guest brings an unlisted item, it should still be served.
• Assume responsibility for the main dish. This does not necessitate a full turkey; alternatives such as a turkey leg or breast, shepherd's pie, savory galette, or lasagna are viable options.
• Assign lighter tasks to out-of-town guests, such as bringing store-bought items like beverages, napkins, or a prepared crudité platter.
• Communicate essential details to guests, including the scheduled mealtime and any dress code requirements for a more formal event.
• Request assistance from guests with tasks such as setting place cards or lighting candles. Post stated that distributing tasks among attendees can enhance the communal experience and alleviate the host's burden.
• Offer guests the opportunity to take home leftovers of the dish they contributed. If guests decline, transfer the contents to a different container to return their original dish.

Guidance for Guests

• Inform the host of any dietary restrictions proactively, ideally offering to bring a suitable dish.
• Arrive with a contribution. Stephenson advises against bringing soup due to the additional dishwashing involved.
• Prepare dishes largely in advance to minimize reliance on kitchen space at the host's location. Dishes should be ready to eat or require minimal finishing.
• Do not expect to receive leftovers, though receiving them can be a positive outcome.